To Cousin JD

Dear Cousin JD,

You’re not wise anymore.

But you’re still important✨.

Love,
Your Dear Cousin

Update // 2017 is ending WHATS

MAAAAN now that 2017 is ending, I HAVE SO MUCH FEELS.

This year has been so memorable for me, more so than others although more or less I'm pretty contented with the years in my life, BUT MAN THIS YEAR.

From chingus to new friends and experiences. I guess somewhere along the line I've figured out my place in life, from my wants to don't wants, likes to dislikes and humans to humans.

I guess I've reach a more spiritual level of closeness with some people I didn't get to during the past years, and for that I'm grateful. Adding on I realised the importance of family - although again I've always been close with my fam but still, this year more so.

Cherishing humans has become more important, at least to those I care, like even though we rarely chat anymore, they are always there when we need them? Maybe it's adulthood. Ya know. When meeting face to face becomes harder, and those that can can, but for those that can't we can always find a next time

And somewhere along the line I've changed my flow in life, letting me take me wherever it takes. LIKE, I don't plan far. I guess whatever life throws at me I'll take it. Every opportunity. And I'm chasing for some. AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I hope this curiosity never ends.

AYE THE END.
2017 has been a great year.

November update

Month of November update:

Sooo exams are coming up, and after that it's probably overseas trip + outings + dog adventure.

Not too much of a difference.

The one thing that is not the same though is my perspective on everything? It's a good change overall, probably from internship and university, on people, views and basically everything in general. 

I'll embrace it. 

I guess this is the point in time when you realized you've grown up.

Peak of my Youth?

This place has started to become a chore to update.

Now that we have photos, people and other means of social media. There is no incentives to write here when there is also so many other platform that provides the same service of updating in life.

LAZINESS I TELL YOU.

Other than that, life has been prettyyyy gooooood. Uni life is fun - meeting new people, new enriching lessons (who am I kidding), catching up with old peers and like my calendar is full WEW.

I wonder if this is the peak of my youth or something? If it is I hope it last till when I'm 100.

Korea WEW

HERE GOES.

Day 1 - 30 June, Fri

WE FLEW TO THE LAND OF SOJU. Little did we know the dramas incoming with our innocent plans of sleeping at 10pm every night.

SO jer started the trip with his extremely lucky luck by getting stuck at the custom, before losing his sim card onboard - what are the chances. BUT wait that's just THE START of his luck so yea. The plane ride was smooth, slept 3/4 of the time. Watched and cried (again) on Beauty and the Beast. and before I knew it, SEOUL HAS ARRIVED.

It was around 4pm as the guys went to settle their sim cards, and I drank the wintermelon tea (MY GONGCHA I HAVE RETURN) while waiting and wew flashback to the good old cold days where me girls and I were having it. GOOOD TIMES.

Headed for the subway after, and arrived at honggik station to find our airbnb - got lost for a while but we managed to find it in the end. Even though it's stated '3mins walk away from the station', I'm pretty sure it's at least a 5 minutes.

MOVING ON.

After settling down, realising that there's only one air-conditioner and no bath towels, we set out for dinner with the interns - Kyochon Chicken. 

We met around 7pm, had the chicken, and I was so so tired that time, probably due to the long plane flight. Now at this point, they were having chicken and beer, while I was stoning 90% of the time. To be honest it was a bit awkward at the dinner. Again, little did we know about what's gonna happen. 

Ended it on a light note, and headed back for our apartment after buying simple necessities for breakfast - bread, eggs, banana milk etc. Surprisingly, this was the only day that we slept early, at 11pm or so.

Day 2 - 1 July, Sat

//I'm lazy. I will continue this soon LOL.

Day 3 - 2 July, Sun

Day 4 - 3 July, Mon

Day 5 - 4 July, Tue

Day 6 - 5 July, Wed

Day 7 - 6 July, Thu

Day 8 - 7 July, Fri

Day 9 - 8 July, Sat

HOME SWEET HOME HERE I COME

Updating Space//TAIWAN

Right so I'm flying tonight YAYYYYSS Boy how I miss all dem Taiwan foodies. Safe flight and health for all me family members as well.

Now, I rarely update this space anymore (As you can tell by the time span in between posts). I've moved on to Dayre or not at all, so friends that are reading this, know that I'll probably re-live this blog upon entering university? Where I am more prone to using the laptop for research etc.

Gotta sleep soon as I'm waking up at 2.50am to catch a dawn flight (omg why) so END OF UPDATE.

CIAO ADIOS IM DONE FOR NOW.

Guitar and Bigo

MIA for 2 months once again so here's another update on life:

HMMM I'm still in floristry, but I'm ending work at the end of June. It's a bit sad cause I like the job, but hey university is starting soon and I doubt I can commit working on weekends while studying. I'll miss the boss, colleagues and all the free good food they'll bring.

HMM I'm going to Taiwan (Yes again) and Korea (YES AGAIN) at the end of June as well. Which kinda explains why I'm stopping the job too. AND I/M  EXCITED EVEN THOUGH it's the second time in 3 months. YAYS TO GOOD FOOD.

HM went for Teoheng and Geylang Bazaar with cw and kel. GOT MY HENNA - I tell you at this rate of me doing henna, buying the ink and drawing it myself would be so much more worth it than spending $8 on each hand EVERY SINGLE TIME. My love for henna is true. And yes, I'm looking into the ink, which means YES guys pay me $ next time if you want it to be done.

Now on my current hobbies and interest:

HMM So I got a guitar as a gift. Yes. A. GUITAR.
Nope I have no clue how to play it. SO I'M SELF-LEARNING. Hopefully my interest will last long enough to play an entire song professionally. It's been 2 weeks and it's on my lap almost everyday when I'm chilling the night away.

That doesn't mean I'm playing it.

It's just sitting on my lap for decoration purposes.

HM I'm also into this app called 'Bigo'. What is it? An app for bored people to watch other people being bored. Or in a more proper term, watching lives of others through the screen live. YEP. Personally it's such a shameless app that I can't believe I'm using it so - add me @PhloxRose if ya know what is it. #YesImShameless

THE END OF UPDATES.

//

Gonna go jogging in a park tomorrow afternoon for my health.
.
.
.
Just joking.

No jogs.

It's for photos.
Geez who goes jogging in the afternoon IN Singapore.

Ya gonna kill yourself.

WELP THE END TILL THE NEXT UPDATE.
Hopefully, soon.

Interview & Boredom

ALRIGHTS first off the list, the university interview.

It has ended and I am fully prepared to enter the workforce LOL. I am too lazy to type it out friends, I'll tell you guys when we meet. In a word: somuchdrama (I know it's technically not a word.)

//

NOW now justifying my 1159 post (2 post back). Whoa. I am not that terrible of person. I may get bored, but that doesn't mean I not interested anymore in you as a person. Bored as in the same routine everyday. From waking up to going out or work to eating to sleeping and that's it. Like a life with no hypes. I was like that in secondary and even though I don't dislike it, I don't like it either.

If we meet on a daily basis doing different stuff, from kbox to cafe-hopping or museum-hopping or visiting iconic Singapore areas, I am 100% down for it. There will be days where we can movie marathon, chill and slack at home or even lepak down under HDB yes. LIKE IT'S FINE AS LONG as you are fine.

I realised I am a person who's mood depends a lot on the other party. Like if you're having fun, even if I sound bored or uninterested, I would be internally glad that you are still upbeat and positive. If you're tired, I'll be tired x2 too LOL.

Friends I'm sorry for being high maintenance. Here's a little appreciation post for always bearing with me and my sarcasm, mood swings, angst, fakeness, hype, impromptu-ness, and I'm not sure what other flaws I have but hey, glad you're sticking around. Let's await those life moments that has yet to come, and hopefully it'll be something we can look back and laugh about in the future. (CLICHE BUT TRUE)

OF COURSE, both sad and happy memories. It will not easy but you made it thus far SO. THANKS FRIENDS. From cousins to loyal sec to poly bae to joke interns gosh. May these people live on forever in my life.

PEACEOUT BYEE.

Anger

Starting this on a new day - but in actual fact it's only 10 minuets passed the last post LOL.

Alright topic for today: Anger

No I don't get angry easily at all. But you can argue that 'People who always justify at the start on what they are not are usually what they are.' So eh, point made. Maybe I am angst always.

True. I get annoyance time to time but anger? Lesser than three times a year for the past of my life. Really it's hard to get me angry and again, for those that is confuse with 'annoyed' and 'anger' I'll kindly define the difference.

"Anger is an Emotion. There are only five of them for humans.

Annoyance and irratation are emotional states. Annoyance and irritation are one of many, many states of the emotion Anger."

So in other term, or my terms, anger is WILD FIRE while annoyance is FIRE on match sticks - small irritation basically.

NOW ANGER. 

I found out I get so easily triggered on anger this year.

It's been more than three times and I'm not sure whether it's the people or me. Pretty sure when you get older, you'll be more defined on what makes you angry and what's not. Well here's mine.

First ever full-blown-rage incident: 21st Birthday Planning

It starts one fine Sunday with the usual family group, aka cousins gathering. Now I have a cousin that is turning 21 as well in July, while mine is in October. We started the topic as I told them I'm planning a chalet for my 21st, which is a typical norm for my age group, so the chalet will be in October. 

NOW cousin JD asked P (who is turning 21) about his birthday plans as well, to which he responded 'Erm not a chalet cause.. I don't want the entire family to go to chalet twice a year." 

HOLD IT.

RIGHT.

THERE.

What da fuck hell are you talking about? 

Since when did you convert your religion to a 'saint' that you cared about the entire family's well-being? AND SINCE WHEN WAS THERE A LAW SAYING YOU CAN'T GO TO CHALET TWICE A FREAKING YEAR?

That was a full blown wtf moment that I haven't felt in a long time because honestly, all I see and hear are words full of FAKE-R.

Now this is only the start. Because of great-oh-saintly P, JD remarked "Why not celebrate it with Pearlina?" to which he responded "I don't mind!" in a holy voice that only angels can hear. Unfortunately a demon like me translate it to "fuck you and your limelight"

(For the next part if you are a great-oh-saintly person like P you'll probably curse how inhumane I am so be warned.)

CELEBRATE?
YOUR JULY
IN YOUR COUSIN'S ACTUAL 21ST OCTOBER?
4 MONTHS IS CLOSE ENOUGH TO CELEBRATE TOGETHER?

HOLD IT.

RIGHT THERE.
AGAIN.

For the past 21 years of our life and history since when did we celebrate our birthdays together? Even if it's 4 months close BUT BRUH IN FACTS AND LIFE MATTER, IT IS NOT CLOSE AT ALL. I am sure some can't do math lemme do it for you: 4months/12months is 1/3 of a year.

So you're saying our birthdays are 1/3 close enough to celebrate it together. Omo sounds like a grand idea. At this rate I need to celebrate my birthday with people who's birthday falls all the way till January cause of the 1/3 rule. Petition to make this an official rule in the bible so if people don't abide to it, it's a sin.

NOW being rational, I would understand if it's a week or in the same month but tell me the linkage between July and October. LOOK ME straight in the eye and tell me it's reasonable celebrating it together.

Adding on to the next point, really touch your heart, TOUCH IT. AND SAY OUT LOUD "Turning 21 don't deserve such a big hooha. Obviously my only girl cousin turning 21 don't mind sharing her chalet with me."

Erm sorry.
I mind.
Precisely because it's 21st.

In fact if it's 22, go right ahead on the celebration together. Oh. But wait. You only want this year cause 21st no biggie.

So if my friends come to the party and asked why I am doing it together with my cousin, I have the full authorities to say "Cause I am a bitch who wants my 21st in October that my poor cousin have no choice but to celebrate his July with me. I mean my family can only attend chalet once a year. It's sacred and holy."

BITCH PLEASE. 4 MONTHS AND 21ST? I AINT CELEBRATING EVEN IF YOU ARE MY BROTHER.

NOW. Back to the part where he ended with "I don't mind". In honest fact, I wasn't angry at him for that part. It is the taunting and questions after FROM cousin JD and JN.

Of course after he said idm I gave an extremely sarcastic 'sure' to which both -wise cousins- kept prying 'whywhywhy' THROUGHOUT. THE. ENTIRE. FCUKING. DAY.

It was annoyance at the start, the taunting turns to anger and rage as whenever I explained the 4 months diff and the 21st, they would retaliate with 'I still don't see why" GIVING OFF the look and of course I know the exact answer they want to hear from me.

"I don't like P."

You can say it's a biased judgement but these are facts.
EVEN if I like, worship and adore you, with your birthday in 21st July celebrating in my 21st October, I would still go wtf you talking about? It's just fake ignorance and transparent.

I was at lost on rage because JD and JN are what I called wise. So I ended up in both rage and disappointment from the fact that they -wise men- are willing to ignore these facts just so they can force me to say 'I don't like P'.

LIKE they are no longer interested in reasons. I KNOW what you want me to say but I'm not saying it cause that's NOT the truth.

It's like forcing someone to say 'I hate sprite' when they in actual facts can't drink it cause of citric acid, but hey you just want to hear that phrase to the point where you poured sprite all over the person saying "Now, do you hate sprite because it's spilled all over you?"

NO. I don't like P, but the reason I am not celebrating my 21st with him is due to the fact that it's 4 months apart and it's A 21ST.

ITS. FACTS. It was never about whether I like or dislike someone. I am not an irrational person. They say if you forbid something from happening, you gotta have reasons why. Here are mine and if you still want to based it on because I dislike P, then balls to you. I'll give you the rights to call me a bitch.


Bye to my admiration and faith to me cousins.

//

I would start on the second incident. But I'm tired now so the second story shall wait.

1159 Artbox

Went to artbox today and my goal is to write this post before the clock strikes 12 - which meant a new day 23 April. Current time 11.48pm. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

HERE GOES.

Off with jy to artbox (why am I repeating this again?) TO GET ANOTHER HENNA. I can't my love for hennas is true and real. 

Yes I said another cause yesterday, kel and I went to artbox (YES 2 days in a row) to feel the mainstream aura that everyone is posting on instagram. To be honest, even though the media claimed how crowded and packed it was, it was not that bad? What do you expect from an event that only opens from Friday to Sunday? Add on, for only 2 weeks? That's like only 6 days for the how many people in Singapore?

Anyway back to the henna, so now I got one on each hand WOO. The most unjustified of them all is that the henna I got today, for $10, is much bigger and detailed compared to the one I did yesterday for $12? LIKE whoa can I turn back time and do the one today on both hands. I don't mind if it's the same design.

//1153

I've always wondered where I'll end up in life cause I get bored so easily? If I do the same, or roughly the same, stuff I am doing on a constant basis, I realised I'll end it off by totally terminating my feelings for it. Let's take phone games for example. If I play a game, I get so into it that I will go deep deep down into - searching hacks/points to basically level myself up. E.G. Bakery Story and Line Play. GOsh memeories.

And eventually it got to the point where I was in an extremely high level, but there's just no point anymore? So I gave it up. 

The same thing goes for people.

Of course if we meet twice or thrice every week it ain't that bad. But it gets me thinking, what if I'm married? Can I ensure myself that I won't get bored of my partner seeing him every day? That I won't go "god I'm bored of you already" because it scares me honestly how far my patience will go. 

Whatever it is, I fear it will NOT COME TRUE. Or in the worst case scenario, I won't get married LOL.

**Wait the way I phrase it here sounds MISLEADING - refer to this post.

//1158

That should be about it. NOT BAD FOR A 12 MINUTES RANT.

1159 SIGNING OUT

Another Korea trip?

Got reminded again to update this space but hey it's been some time.

UPDATE ON LIFE.
There's another possibility that I might go to Korea again! This time with the intern gang. And even though I said it's a possibility, it's pretty much confirmed with the deciding factor on the current news regarding NorthKorea and the US yadayadaya. I know this is serious news but I can't help myself cause it doesn't involve me directly (?). Again I wonder, where does my humanity lies.

"I won't do it if I don't have to and if I have to, I'll do it fast." This phrase has aways been in the back of my mind.

//

FINISHED THE SERIES '13 Reasons Why' in two days.
For an honest and true feedback, I get why it's hyped and popular, but it's not the best series of American drama I've watched. 7/10? If you are the type that can relate to it maybe it'll be higher. Afterall it's a drama that revolves around a girl with depression and the factors leading up to it.

Unfortunately sobs series aren't my forte. I still prefer romantic mystery genre. I know you can argue this series is somewhat one BUT NO. THE GIRL DIED. SO A ROMANCE IS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN WITH CLAY.

Still it's a series worth watching I Guess? There's just too many plot holes I can't avoid seeing as someone who is not-that-into-the-acting-but-the-storyline kind of person. I would start a list on the plotholes but it's 1.26am now and sleep is catching up.

I'll update rue list once I have the feel and time.

//

WENT out with the interns today to discussed on the Korea trip and omo this should be written at the top but I forgot so here it is! Finding places with proper wifi in town is hard. Moving on. Bowling for the night activity and miracously, no drinking involved. There's always drinks around smoker and it's hilarious seeing people defy it BUT HEY defy successful. A lot due to time constraint LOL.

Anyhow ending this off with a NO YOU DONT GET AN ENDING OFF MESSAGE.
BYE.

KOREA, Florist & TATTOO

GOING TO KOREA IN 2 DAY.
EXCITED Boom-ts boom-ts

//

I STARTED WORKING. Yes florist. But it's basically changing the water in vases and cutting leaves from stalks. No biggie. It's not what I expected but hey, the salary is worth the job I guess so I won't complain. In fact, I LIKEY. It's chill, no brainstorming (I sound like a lazy retard) and alone (?!). The boss will be around during the first half of the day, but on the later half he'll leave. This meant opening and closing ALONE.

There's pros and cons to being the only one in the store.
Pros: No socialising - yes I won't have to make friends
Cons: CAN I EVER TEND THE STORE ALONE? The responsibilities seems huge. What if I break a vase? Or that I can't answer a customers query? Or that I locked up incorrectly? and yadahyadahyadah so on and forth.

But putting the cons asides, there is THIS BEST THING about the store.
Guess what guess what
.
.
.
.
.
FREE WIFI + CHARGER.

WOO Unlimited excess to data and battery means dramas, social medias and games WOO. I won't complain no more. THIS IS THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD. *Easily contented

//

Tattoo consultation tomorrow! I know I know there's some out there that are worried about permanent inks. SOME AS IN 9/10 of the people I tell to and the replies I got. Do you honestly think I would get one not thinking of the consequences? Or do you not get the fact that I am no longer the good girl years ago? Not that I was a good girl years ago anyway.

"Tattoo is gonna last forever!" 
THANKS I DIDN'T KNOW, by far the most retarded exclamation I have to answer.

"What if you regret the design when you're old?" 
Erm okay this is serious. I'll answer that in 20 years time. Oh. But wait, how would I know if I would be alive then? BRUHHHHH No one knows. What ever is gonna happen in the future stays in the future.

If I'm gonna live my life based on what is gonna happen when I'm older, I will stop eating and be a monk cause everything is harmful. People, I can only decide the present and on present day, I like it and it matters. Of course I can't promise when I'm 80 in a wheelchair coming out of the old folks home, but I can promise you for the next 5 years down the road, I WOULD LOOK AT IT WITH PRIDE THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN.

"Don't damage your body with tattoo! It's like putting a sticker on a Ferrari!" 
NOW THIS I HAVE TO EMPHASIZE.
Inking to me is like painting on a canvas. Your body is a walking art. No, I'm not super artistic but if you want to fight metaphor with metaphor. then here's my perspective. But I understand not everyone view inking the same way so be my guest and try to convince me otherwise how inking is damaging to my body in sickness and in health. Don't ever bullshit with me of how I might get aids through needles. That way I must stop breathing cause VIRUS IN THE AIR AHH.

"Some places don't hire people with tattoo, what about your future job?"
Chill the area that I'll be inking can cover it well that I don't think people will ever know if I don't reveal it. "AH SEE TROUBLESOME if you have no tattoo you have nothing to fear!" WA THANKS I'LL BE HERMIT KAY. This way I won't experience fear at all.

Now yes I'm sensitive in this issue, cause I can understand if you won't get it, but if you disapprove others of getting it, it gets me (GET IT, PUN PUN). Like "what rights do you have to preach?" Have you inked before? Or do you have inked friends that tells you the oh-shit-because-of-my-tattoo stories? Or maybe it's just ugly and gangster-ish? Cause other than that I don't see why is inking 'BAD'.

Until the day you have your list of reasons why IT FREAKING IS, I would have had the tattoo already. And if you still preach by then I would go 'wtf' really? You don't tell a pregnant woman about miscarriages the same way on how tattoo is bad to a person with inks. It's like whoa. Balls to you if you do. BALLS TO YOU *Sound of applause* Give this man an award for being the most ignorant human-being of all times.




Joke.

No nvm I'm not joking for most parts.
NEVERTHELESS, YAY TATTOO CONSULTATION TMR.

Mid March update

ANYONGGG.

Alright quick update before I prepare for a gym session with my cousin - losing off the Taiwan fats I've gained with their omg-delicious-delicacy.

SIGNED UP FOR NTU and UniSIM. A typical choice but strangely I'm hoping to get in uniSIM. LIKE PLEASE ACCEPT ME. I HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO GO.

Kel and I went to the iLight event at Marina bay and omegosh it's so pretty?! Although yes there's not a lot, but quality is always better than quantity. Going there with practically no influence from social media - the pretty pictures people always share online - turns out to be a pleasant surprise because I was amazed at everything not knowing what will be displayed.

5 MORE MINS TO BULLSHIT WAIT.

2 more weeks till the Korea trip with the gang, but I have no feels yet.
Going for a KTV session with the poly gang tomorrow at Chinatown called ten dollar club (?) Omo guys I'm going to a club like finally!

Just joking.
I want to though. I'm 20 but I have not experience what it's like. I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION. Alright but in the end the people I hang out with do not do these kinds of high, so fair enough.

ERMERMERM what else. OH before the iLight event we visited Kranji Marshes - a beautiful place for photoshoot. Next stop was Bishan to buy socks for our sogged shoes, and ee also visited Chinatown complex for their famous rooftop after that.

EVENTFUL DAY. I shall clean up this post when I have the time. BYE, GYMING.

WHAT 2017

WHAT I haven't updated in 4 months where was I? Enjoying life man.

Intern has ended (from where I last left) and omegosh time passed so damn fast? I didn't even celebrate 2017, so here it is in February. HAPPY 2017!

Life is great. THIS is like the best period so far - but then it has always been more or less this way.
After internship ended, the intern gang still meets 2 to 3 times a week - fair number so not much has changed. A FACT that changed though is that I have to apply for university now and I have absolutely no idea what to major in.

In the end, life don't always work out as we planned it few years ago. I remembered my goals when I first started poly: Earn lots of money in an office job. A practical idea. But now I'm like meh I don't think I can do 8 hours a day sitting in the office, it's not my thing.

As a female, I'm taking it slow. Pursue interest - not that I have one in the first place since florist is a temporary infatuation. Hang out with friends - have fun basically.

I really have nothing planned for the future and there's always this lingering thought at the back of my head that goes 'god you're gonna kill yourself this way'. Everyone is signing up for university, some got jobs in companies and some had their interest sort out. But I have no idea? I'll sign up a course in uni but it'll be just for the sake of continuing this path I crafted in poly. It scares me.

It scares me cause what if I ended up in a job that is of no relation to my course of studies in the university? This meant wasting 4 years of my life and money in education that I won't pursue upon graduation. I don't like IT even though I'm good at it. I don't like business even if I do it for the pay (since money is never a long term motivation). But damn that is practically my course.

Too much to ponder so honestly, I'll just be a full time florist if I don't get in a university omo.
Flowers everyday I likey.

Now that I'm entering the early 20s, that's like 1/5 of me life if I lived till 100, so much good memories has happened. What if I'm enjoying too much now and when things get rough, it gets real tough that I won't be able to handle it noooo.

REALLY GUYS The most important thing in life is to just be happy - CLICHE SHIT BUT IT'S TRUE. Okay you don't have to be happy everyday since there are bad days occasionally. The point is: Do what you enjoy, live life to the fullest according to you (don't let anyone tell you otherwise) and stress less on the long-term future.

That is the formula in living a laid-back carefree life.

But of course not everyone thinks the same so it's fine. I'M OLD LA I WAS 19 JUST 2 YEARS AGO HOW TIME FLIES PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY THIS TIME.

I read somewhere saying that the late 10s and early 20s will be the best part of your life. True bruh true.

SIGNING OUT THE UPDATE ON LIFE. Here's a dedication to Kellin for the reminder to update this blog THXKBYE.