Wow first stress in uni

QUICK UPDATE ABOUT LIFE

Assignments, assignments and more assignments.

My stress level is either a 0 or 100, there's no in between. One moment I'm confident about the assignment completion and the other with my mind calculating the time I have left and it concluded that there's no time left. I CANNOT.

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Omo while updating this, someone on Carousell asked about the star war cushion PLEASE BUY IT. MY FAM HAVE TOO MANY PILLOW TO FILL THE COUCH that once I reached home, I informed them that 'I'm gonna sell this' and that is not asking, it's informing.

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Okay back to stress. It pushed me to the extent that I wonder if university is the right path. Although, okay to be fair, this thought came to my mind when I was at the peak of my stress which I blamed the coffees since I'm not usually a coffee-intake person, but I drank too much that day. The caffeine + adrenaline + dizzy bus ride + failing a 14% test + hardworking peers add on to so much that day that I wasn't in the right state of mind. IT WAS CHAOS I SWEAR.

Thoughts kept running through my mind, from escaping reality to thinking about life if I quit school to thinking how I could survive 3 more years of this stress, even though it's not all the time.

I'm worried. I don't worry about retaining another year if I failed, I worry about whether schooling is a good investment. Is getting a degree worth it? Can I not survive in the workforce without a degree? What if I wasted 4 years of studying this course, but I end up in some job totally unrelated? WHICH MAKES MY DEGREE USELESS. I DON'T WANT IT TO BE USELESS. This meant wasting money, time and effort for 4 years but it turns out to be useless.

Would life give me a sign? I NEED TO KNOW.

Anyways, this thoughts shall be tucked away in my brain somewhere, where it would re-surface again when stress is ignited - to again remind myself why did I enter university LOL.

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BACK TO THE HAPPY STUFFS IN LIFE.

Collected the star war run race pack today, with the actual run on 5th May. How exciting wew isit I can get a chance to lose weight before gaining it all back while studying? There there nice try convincing yourself there.

This should be the end of ranting for now. Here's to my boi jy for reminding me to update this place.

To end this off, may school life be good to me although generally life is already pretty good to me. LEMME PASS THIS SEM, OR LEMME FAIL LIKE 3 PAPERS AFTER DOING MY BEST TO TELL ME WHERE I SHOULD GO IN LIFE.

To be or not to be

Now now lemme update this forum once again as I am too laze to continue my report on cultural practice and yada yada so on.

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LOL jokes.

I'm too bored to continue as my mind is in a blank. That's what you get for being a person that waits for random energy spikes to write a report. Regardless now that I've reached this state of stoneness I might as well rant on what I ranted today. I really really wanna try to be an air stewardess. For now. I wanna travel the world. I wanna see everywhere. To explore and conquer my imaginations of places I've only see in pictures.

But then again, I have so much to leave behind. To be one, not only will my time be affected based on my sleeping schedule, but also the time to meet people. From families to friends to baes.

But then, air stewardess.

But my people.

Mans why can't life give me the best of both worlds?

Or have I already gotten it?

Godaaaamnit questions after questions that will be left unanswered. FYI I still do love life though, and maybe that's why, sometimes, I take too much for granted.

Where do I begin

'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?

-Dodie

SO OBSESSED WITH HER RIGHT NOW??? HER SONGS ARE EVERYTHING.

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"We're not bruised They're just party tattoos. And that colourful mess Is just colorful regret. Black lipstick will never be a sin. We'll regret it when we're old with wrinkled up skin"

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"I've got a secret for the mad in a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad and I get that I don't get it you will burn right now but then you won't regret it"

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Time after time

Questions

Well, school starts tomorrow and hey I don’t feel like school is starting.

Anyways the MAIN RANT FOR TODAY.

Honestly where do I stand in people’s lives? Like honestly.
It’s so hard to gauge whether you should care for someone as a friend, family or gender (female in my case) cause I’ll never know where I stand?

Okay probably 90 percent of the time we’ll know it. A Friend. A family.

But goddamnit IM SO LOST. Everyone has a chapter of their story untold and those are stories we shouldn’t pry. A chapter of their life that they don’t want to be revealed. I understand. I do. Cause I have them too despite how great my life is, and I don’t want people to pry either. There’s this solemn understanding and mannerism between people that you’ll know when to stop prying.

BUT NOW THAT IM HERE I CANT HELP TO WANT TO KNOW?

WHY? CAUSE I CARE.

IS IT RELATED TO YOU? MAYBE AND MAYBE THATS THE REASON I CARE.

WILL IT HURT YOU? NO?

WILL IT HURT THE OTHER PARTY? PROB NO?

IS IT FOR THE SAKE OF THE OTHER PARTY OR FOR YOUR OWN CURIOSITY?

NOW THAT. That is the reason I stopped prying? Cause I realised in the end regardless or not whether it’s related to me, the reason why I want to know is really to get closure. But what am I gonna do once I get the answer? I Guess we’re in this situation cause neither of us know where we stand in each other’s lives. If that’s the case, the person that will break that question first, will be where the closure be?

WORRIED AND CONFLICTED.

And worst of all, these are all emotions the other party is feeling but IM FEELIN IT TOO. I just can’t don’t care about it aye. Aye?

HELLO 2018

How can I not blog on such a day? IT'S 2018 HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

Again, I can't believe 2017 is over I'm already missing it omg. If people ask me when is the best time of my life it's definitely gonna be last year cause wew, so much feels.

ANWS MOVING ON IN LIFE. Any resolutions for the year? Hmm.

No.

Not now.

I make resolutions almost every year actually as back then, it was a factor I feel makes me motivated for the year. Like last year, my resolutions was to drive at least 3 times (I still remember fresh in my head), make it to uni, and (WHEN THE YEAR PASSED I was still in internship and pretty darn sad that it was ending and all my friends would leave so) everlasting friendship.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, I remembered feeling so down when intern ending on 3 Feb as I was convinced that the guys won't contact anymore due to NS. BUT LOOK AT WE NOWWWWW. All dem Korea memories, dramas, girls and shits dealing with alcohol BAD INFLUENCE GUYS.

Okay so I figured resolutions are no longer my motivations for the year, or maybe because I have no wishes right now, so ain't gonna try making one.

BUT TO 2018 here's for you. May all whom matters find their place in life based on happiness, success and wealth (CLICHÈ SHYT I KNOW) and sincerely may our relationship stay the same and beyond infinity cause I can’t bear to lose anyone.

Also to love and friendship in 2018 for those whom crave for it (ME ME HAHHAHA) and to every good opportunities that'll be given and may it be a peaceful and fruitful year for everyone (that I care, cause idc about anyone else that are not my people or related to them.)

Here's to 2018. Cheers!